Customer Agreement

Each company has its own version of the agreement, but they all follow the same general outline. If the phrase “Thou shalt not” and the number 10 come to mind, you have wisdom.

As a condition of doing business, the customer agrees to the following Terms of Service*, summarized below with the full text incorporated by reference.

The “Customer Agreement” is only a summary of the contract. The actual full text would be thousands of pages in length, with detailed specifications of what is allowed and forbidden. Click on the link, if you dare.

1.       The customer shall not use The Company’s goods, services, or property to engage in divisive behavior or to promote any religious sect or cult.

This part of the terms are intentionally vague and expansive, allowing The Company to ban any behavior they don’t like.

2.       The customer shall not use The Company’s goods, services, or property to cause harm or distress to any person, corporation, or Artificial Intelligence.

Similarly vague and expansive, extended beyond the bounds of The Company itself. If you do something that causes ‘distress’ to The Food Company, they can punish you, regardless of where you are.

3.       The customer shall not demand more than their fair share of The Company’s goods, services, or property, or ask for special privileges.

Take what we give you and shut your mouth.

4.       The customer shall not use The Company’s goods, services, or property for unauthorized purposes, such as conducting commerce or facilitating unauthorized sexual liaisons.

That which is not permitted is forbidden. The commerce clause creates an interlocking system of barriers to anyone who would seek to create a small business. The sexual liaison clause means that you can’t invite someone to your apartment for lovemaking or ask someone out on a date in a park.

5.       The customer shall not use The Company’s goods, services, or property to spread lies or disinformation.

“Lies and disinformation” means “anything we don’t want you to say.”

6.       The customer shall not use The Company’s goods, services, or property to slander or disparage any person, company, or Artificial Intelligence in a position of authority.

Note that this only applies to entities ‘in a position of authority.’

7.       The customer shall not use The Company’s goods, services, or property to invade the privacy of any group or individual.

In this society, privacy means ‘the right not to be annoyed by unwanted communications.’ Sending someone an unsolicited message or talking to them in public is therefore considered an ‘invasion of privacy.’ Writing down or memorizing someone’s home address constitutes retention of confidential information. The goal is to prevent people from communicating except under the aegis of the companies. In this they are largely successful.

8.       The customer authorizes The Company to collect data pertaining to the use of its goods, services, and property, and to share such data with other Companies.

You have no privacy, and The Companies can pool information.

9.       The customer shall not question the fairness and impartiality of The Company, its agents and representatives, or the Artificial Intelligences tasked with enforcing these Terms of Service.

No matter how badly they abuse you, you can’t complain.

10.   The customer acknowledges that The Company may downgrade, suspend, or terminate service at any time, at its sole discretion, should it determine that there has been a violation of these Terms of Service, and agrees to accept all such determinations as final.

You have no rights. Nothing in this contract matters. The Company can do whatever it wants, and you have no recourse.

* Subject to change without notice.

This contract has no meaning. The Company can change it anytime it wants.